The best way to NOT get what you want out of your marriage.

Out of the ashes of a 15yr failed first marriage and now seven wonderful years of marriage to my best friend, Stacey, I have learned at least one truth. One of the fastest ways to NOT get what you want in a marriage is to get what you want. By that I mean, just focus on your own wants and watch your marriage ignite into an inferno of mis-communication. The chauvinistic element of the church stops at Ephesians 5:24 and conveniently goes no further. However, husbands, I speak to you by saying you need to focus on Ephesians 5:25 and follow it through to the end of the chapter. To go no further than verse 24 is the very cause that has turned our world upside-down and taken us from one extreme to the other in this last century. This is true for many doctrinal subjects where the authors of such doctrine have not been objective and have, through creative and incomplete interpretation, built their own case from scripture. Accepting the authorship of scripture by God Himself as the creator and we as the subjective creation is a tough pill to swallow. Thus making the temptation to manipulate scripture or place more emphasis in one place than the other very strong. As Pastor Dave said, "There are several things in the Bible I do not like but I didn't write the book". Accept the fact that you didn't write it nor do any of us have the right to choose what is or isn't true in the scripture. This is where introspection gets painful. Husbands, if you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, I challenge you to do one thing for 30 days. Devote yourself to this cause. Put your wife ahead of all other agendas and be a gracious servant. Everyday, bolstered by prayer. I don't care if you even like it. Suck it up. Put your big boy pants on and do things for your wife even without asking. Don't make excuses. Don't shift any blame. Now is not the time for that. When your house is on fire, is it time to point fingers at who lit the match? Or is it time to jump in with the buckets? Love her by telling her and showing her that you do. After 30 days of putting your best foot forward, come back and tell me what's different with your relationship. I'd venture to bet you'll get my point. Oh, and wives....let your husband be the man he is supposed to be. I'd venture to bet you'll get my point as well.