The best way to NOT get what you want out of your marriage.

Out of the ashes of a 15yr failed first marriage and now seven wonderful years of marriage to my best friend, Stacey, I have learned at least one truth. One of the fastest ways to NOT get what you want in a marriage is to get what you want. By that I mean, just focus on your own wants and watch your marriage ignite into an inferno of mis-communication. The chauvinistic element of the church stops at Ephesians 5:24 and conveniently goes no further. However, husbands, I speak to you by saying you need to focus on Ephesians 5:25 and follow it through to the end of the chapter. To go no further than verse 24 is the very cause that has turned our world upside-down and taken us from one extreme to the other in this last century. This is true for many doctrinal subjects where the authors of such doctrine have not been objective and have, through creative and incomplete interpretation, built their own case from scripture. Accepting the authorship of scripture by God Himself as the creator and we as the subjective creation is a tough pill to swallow. Thus making the temptation to manipulate scripture or place more emphasis in one place than the other very strong. As Pastor Dave said, "There are several things in the Bible I do not like but I didn't write the book". Accept the fact that you didn't write it nor do any of us have the right to choose what is or isn't true in the scripture. This is where introspection gets painful. Husbands, if you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, I challenge you to do one thing for 30 days. Devote yourself to this cause. Put your wife ahead of all other agendas and be a gracious servant. Everyday, bolstered by prayer. I don't care if you even like it. Suck it up. Put your big boy pants on and do things for your wife even without asking. Don't make excuses. Don't shift any blame. Now is not the time for that. When your house is on fire, is it time to point fingers at who lit the match? Or is it time to jump in with the buckets? Love her by telling her and showing her that you do. After 30 days of putting your best foot forward, come back and tell me what's different with your relationship. I'd venture to bet you'll get my point. Oh, and wives....let your husband be the man he is supposed to be. I'd venture to bet you'll get my point as well.

Doodling in the dirt

John 8:1-11 tells the story about a woman brought before Jesus by the Pharisee's in order to entrap him between Roman civil law and the Mosaic law. Here is the text for your convenience:

1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

There are a few questions to ask oneself here. Where is Jesus at the moment? Who is he with? What is he doing? What do they call Jesus? Where's the "dude"? What is the extent of Roman law of the day versus the Mosaic Law? Was Jesus being indignant to them? What sin? What was he doodling in the dirt (speculation only)? Why did they leave? Who was left? What was she told to do? Here's my brief take on the whole deal. "All" the people here are those following and had interest in what Jesus had to say. He was busy teaching in the temple when rudely interrupted by these "ruling class lawyers" of the day. They plop the woman down among all the people gathered round about Jesus. I'm sure she was terrified and embarrassed. She is also surely not in the women's courtyard of the temple so she's the only woman surrounded by men. She surely wasn't treated very well at all on the way from wherever she had been taken from to the temple. Her clothes probably weren't intact and she was likely scrapped and beat up. Now, the last time I checked, it takes two to tango. Mosaic Law condemns ANYONE committing adultery. Man and woman. Where's the "dude"? One can only speculate here but it begs one to wonder why. Maybe it was a Pharisee himself unhappy with the outcome of this little escapade. We don't know. The absence of the partner in crime may very well explain the scenario better than if he were there. You can see the chauvinistic overtone of these accusers. The Pharisees addressed Jesus with the title "Master". This meaning "teacher" or Rabbi but not with any sense of respect at all. We also see that, continuing in the line of arrogance, they pose the question before addressing Jesus by title. I can just imagine the interruption being simultaneous with throwing this woman down. There certainly wouldn't be any missing the incident. Jesus, being always indignant to those who are self-serving, acts as if he didn't hear anything, bends down and doodles in the dirt. In that day, as is tradition even now, a judge would write his sentence down before declaring it vocally. I wonder. Now, let's make absolutely clear that speculation can lead into doctrinal paths that are way off in left field. With that in mind, I carefully contemplate what Jesus may have been writing. Was it "Hey everybody, watch this!"? During the Roman occupation, the Jews were given quite a bit of freedom. They were free to worship, self-rule and basically come and go as they please. One big caveat was capital punishment. The Romans did not allow capital punishment outside of the Roman court. This is why Jesus' death sentence was declared by the Roman prefect (magistrate) Pontius Pilate and not the "Roman-appointed" high priest, Caiaphas. (There is another long story here concerning the difference between lineage high priesthood and the "Roman-appointed" false-priesthood). So, verse 5 pits Jesus between agreeing with the Law of Moses, circumventing Roman law and conflicting his own teachings to his students or defying Jewish law and getting in hot water with the Sanhedrin (71 member "supreme court" of Jewish law). It seemed like a no-win situation. Jesus answered the question in historical fashion. Sure, go ahead. Stone her. But, as is the custom, whomever is without [this] sin, cast the first stone [you being the transgressed, she being the transgressor]. The Old Testament practice was that if you accused someone for a capital offense against you, you had to be prepared to throw the first stone as proper vindication. This is strong reference to the possibility of "this sin". So, again speculating, maybe Jesus began doodling the names of their mistresses one by one. If not [this] sin, maybe He was writing down the sins they had just committed earlier in the day! Nevertheless, we see them all leave, one-by-one until there is just the woman and Jesus. This is very important because the only one left was the only one without sin and the only one whom could have condemned the woman according to the Law of Moses because Jesus, being the second member of the Trinity, is the one whom was sinned against in the act of adultery. Yet, Jesus chose to not condemn her and told her to go and sin no more. Is it possible to not sin? Of course not. We are not perfect nor will we be. However, the inference is that He told her to change her way, turn and do life a new way with respect and honor to the pardon given. She was forgiven without paying a penance by God whom had every right to condemn her and was justly qualified to do so. She had not earned it in any way. She simply acknowledge the fact that there were no accusers. A precursor to the completion of His task as our savior. If you enjoy R.C. Sproul as much as I do, listen to his commentary on this very subject: http://www.ligonier.org/learn/sermons/woman-caught-adultery/

Have you ever just wanted to pummel somebody relentlessly?

I figured the title would get your attention. Yesterday, as I surfed around on the internet, read Pastor Dave's raves, listened/watched archived video and such, I found the inevitable. You know. The "review"? The one where a Pharisaical, street corner-screaming, beat you with a ninety pound Scofield reference bible, no-theological training, so-narrow-minded-I-can-see-through-a-keyhole-with-both-eyes-open guy who watches one video, takes it out of context and vomits all over it because it didn't have enough "thee's" and "thou's" in it. I felt like I was going to have a stroke. My generally happy-go-lucky demeanor went right out the proverbial window! My Roy D. Mercer smart___ alter ego wanted to come out, crawl through the internet connection, jump through this guys keyboard and go all old testament on his sorry excuse for a Christian.....then it happened. I heard Dave's voice in my head almost as if I had played it back on an iPod......."God works through a broken, humble spirit". Talk about taking the wind out of your sail. He is dead-on right. What good would it have done for me to fire back? What would it prove other than me being as venomous as he was? I took a deep breath and just shook my head. If only this guy really knew...if only he knew.