I met with a guy Sunday afternoon many of you can relate to. He had a happy smile but was tearfully so. There was hidden pain in there somewhere that I usually don't see. Lots of it. Apparently, he compartmentalizes it very, very well. I suppose he was trained that way. Like so many of us messy "Gathering" people, he had awakened with a wreaking case of the "stupids" (as Pastor Dave put it) every day for about a year and a half until he finally came to grips with it by realizing that he couldn't do it on his own. This was ten years ago. In the process, a marriage was ruined, a venomous new relationship made and a resulting vicious fight for rights as the father of another child. A beautiful, bright, energetic little girl that bounced like Tigger more than she ran. Her long hair would bounce in all directions when she saw him for his visits and came running with arms wide open. In all the pain, this little girl and his other two children were the only things in this life worth smiling about. This fight went on for years. He told me how near-violent this interaction had become. This woman knew how to push his buttons, dangle the carrot and manipulate him using this little child as bait. How sad is that? Eventually, after many court battles ensued by him as the plaintiff fighting for his rights, the mother was charged with contempt but fled with the child before being sentenced. That was in November of 2005. He still has a box containing unopened Christmas gifts that were waiting for her that Christmas. It didn't happen. Year after year. He spent large sums of money and time trying to track the woman and his daughter down but they moved continuously and stayed one step ahead of any subpoena's. Law enforcement offered no real help as the fight crossed state lines. Finally, with all his hope and energy sucked out like a vampire victim, he relinquished his fight. I told him this was probably a good thing and to imagine what might have happened if he had stayed actively engaged in the fight? I told him as a soldier, the longer the fire-fight, the higher your chances of failure. If you must, you back off and regroup. He finally came to believe that maybe divine providence was responsible and was quite upset with God for having allowed this to all happen only to have it all taken away. He was half right. This guy was responsible for what went down and how he got to that place, not God. It wasn't until he was told by a guy that it was very likely because God loved him enough to take away what he could not handle at the time and did the most loving and compassionate thing He as God could do. God saved this man from himself, his devices and most-assuredly his own self-destruction. I agreed that the situation probably would have ended very badly otherwise.
He has received pictures occasionally through the past seven years, watching this little girl turn into a tween. Man, I could see the pain then. He had heard through the social networking grapevine, that this little girl, programmed by years of manipulation by her mother, wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. He'd rather die in war than to hear that kind of a response. Nothing hurt worse.
Well, this Father's Day, his oldest daughter who is now 20 and has had some contact with her little half-sister, relayed a message back to him from this 12yr old girl. "Daddy, Katie told me to tell you "Happy Father's Day!" I've been working on her daddy! Telling her that what she's heard all these years isn't true and that the daddy I have is not the man she's been told. I think it might be working daddy". He crumbled. Although he'd experienced a life-changing transformation under the teachings of Dr. Foster....the reconciliation of this relationship with his daughter was still undone and painful. This has been a terrible sore spot for this guy. But this Father's Day gave great relief and hope. He hopes that someday, this little girl will seek him out to find out for herself what kind of man he has become, a Christ follower, and make up for lost time.
I saw the fellow yesterday in the window at Starbucks. Then I saw him again this morning.....in the mirror.
To all my brothers and sisters who ask God "Why?". If you'll just rely on the belief and faith that whatever God does, He does because He loves you and knows what you don't know. I understand. Let it go. Read on Job. He was restored and all that he endured was for God's glory. Read on Moses, although he had to pay for his disobedience by not seeing the land of Canaan, he died a man of God. Read on David, a man after God's own heart but insanely and repeatedly stupid beyond comprehension. The examples are throughout the Old and New Testaments. As Brian said last Sunday "Read the instructions"!
In One Peace,
-Eric
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