How did I get here?

It's been several months since I had anything I felt blogging about. Rather than rant, like I have in the past, I feel better just digging deep to share my heart.

I am flawed. Imperfect. Human. I am a work in progress. I am resigned to follow God's plan rather than mine. By doing so, I have seen tremendous progress. Progressing from a bad history. A failed marriage which included children torn and hurt. A bad history of guilt, misdirected anger and shame.

Oh, but things are so different now. I "know" that I am forgiven now. I feel as if I have had a good samaratan come and take my load off my shoulders. Interesting parallel isn't it?

We are told that Jesus forgives us of sin as believers. Not some of it. ALL of it. The evidence gone. Not even a carbon copy laying around in God's file cabinet somewhere. So rarely though, do most of us ever get to a place of forgiving ourselves and laying that burden down. All too often we "say" we are forgiven but don't fully believe it. We self-medicate to dull the pain of shame, anger and resentment. We make bad decisions through self-destructive behavior. Roots of bitterness begin to wrap around our hearts like weeds. Lots of bad decisions made over time. Until we find ourselves in a self-constructed hell on earth. We ask ourselves "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was.". Character is an ever evolving thing. It is defined well as what we do when other people aren't looking. The good news is that it can be redeemed. We can be redeemed.

There is but one way out. The same way we got in but in reverse. Wake up everyday resolved to make the right decision and to do the next right thing. One right decision at a time, in series, over time gets us back on track as we focus on our goals and dreams. Come into a relationship with Jesus Christ. Not the "I filled out the card when I was 12" Jesus. Not the "I go to church because my parents did" Jesus. Not the "turn or burn" Jesus. Come into a relationship with a Savior who accepts you just as you are. Broken, dirty, hurt, angry.

If you're in this place, turn an ear to the following:

You are more -Tenth Avenue North

I'm not who I was -Brandon Heath

Dear X -Disciple

Memorial Day

Here is one thing in particular I remember this Memorial Day weekend:

I remember "George". He was my landlord who lived downstairs in the house from which we rented an upstairs apartment from. He was a short, stocky fellow who was very cheerful and quite chatty. One would not have surmised that George was a Marine WWII veteran with the 1st Marine Division. Being a Marine myself, we had lots to talk about.

George landed on the island of Tulagi near Guadalcanal Island on August 7th, 1942. George was one of 3,000 Marines assigned to take Tulagi, Gavutu and Tanambogo while 11,000 Marines landed on Guadalcanal. Of the 3,000 Japanese soldiers entrenched on the three smaller islands, only 4 survived. Marines suffered 122 losses. In the early morning hours of August 21st, George was patrolling the eastern perimeter of Lunga when 917 Japanese attempted an ill-fated attack. This became known as the Battle of Tenaru. All but 128 of the Japanese invaders were killed. George survived again only to soon come down with with a near-fatal bout of Dysentery.

On October 24th, George again survived the Battle of Henderson Field under command of Lt. Col. Chesty Puller. Later, on September 15th, 1944 at 0832, George and the 1st Marines landed on "White Beach" on Peleliu which was fortified with 30,000 seasoned Japanese soldiers. George's LVT was hit by a 47mm shell and sank is chest-deep water layered in coral. George and his landing party waded through the water while the Japanese raked the water with machine gun fire. George and his men took "The Point" which was the most heavily fortified fortress overlooking the beach. His joy was short-lived when the Japanese attempted four times over the next 30 hours to retake "The Point". 157 Marines lost their lives on "The Point". George was one of only 18 to live to tell the tale.

On April 1st, 1945, George found himself in hand-to-hand combat fighting through the west-central area of Okinawa known as Cactus Ridge, about five miles north of Shuri. 1,500 soldiers were lost there. George fought his way all the way from the Oroku Peninsula on the west-central coast up to the Motobu Peninsula passing what is now Camp Hansen on the eastern coast. A total of 6,319 Americans died and 61,471 were wounded in taking Okinawa. George survived with grenade shrapnel in his legs after diving for cover when a grenade rolled out of a pill box he had assaulted.

George came home, married, raised his children, worked and eventually ended up retired, drinking sweet tea on his front porch many times with me. As we would sit, he would talk and I would listen intently. An average man, an average life, an extraordinary hero.

Thanks George!

A lesson in humility

As soon as I stopped tumbling after being thrown from the bike Tuesday, I began throwing my helmet and gloves in a fit of very adolescent tourettes. This was a poor example of Christianity for those gracious people who came running to my aid after witnessing the event. It wasn't until the adrenaline subsided and my blood pressure returned to normal that I hung my head in repentence and thanked God for watching over me. I saw this as a revealed character flaw that I must work on. How we react in the moment without time to think reveals our instinct. My instinct was to beat myself up for not having had x-ray vision and responding quicker. If only I had.... Rather, my instinct should have been an instant "Yeah, God!" for not having any broken bones. So, the next time you smash your finger with a hammer, spill coffee on your iPad or hit the gas instead of the brake, train your instinct to give glory to the Creator. It will take the edge off an otherwise inglorious moment.