The best Father's Day yet!

I met with a guy Sunday afternoon many of you can relate to. He had a happy smile but was tearfully so. There was hidden pain in there somewhere that I usually don't see. Lots of it. Apparently, he compartmentalizes it very, very well. I suppose he was trained that way. Like so many of us messy "Gathering" people, he had awakened with a wreaking case of the "stupids" (as Pastor Dave put it) every day for about a year and a half until he finally came to grips with it by realizing that he couldn't do it on his own. This was ten years ago. In the process, a marriage was ruined, a venomous new relationship made and a resulting vicious fight for rights as the father of another child. A beautiful, bright, energetic little girl that bounced like Tigger more than she ran. Her long hair would bounce in all directions when she saw him for his visits and came running with arms wide open. In all the pain, this little girl and his other two children were the only things in this life worth smiling about. This fight went on for years. He told me how near-violent this interaction had become. This woman knew how to push his buttons, dangle the carrot and manipulate him using this little child as bait. How sad is that? Eventually, after many court battles ensued by him as the plaintiff fighting for his rights, the mother was charged with contempt but fled with the child before being sentenced. That was in November of 2005. He still has a box containing unopened Christmas gifts that were waiting for her that Christmas. It didn't happen. Year after year. He spent large sums of money and time trying to track the woman and his daughter down but they moved continuously and stayed one step ahead of any subpoena's. Law enforcement offered no real help as the fight crossed state lines. Finally, with all his hope and energy sucked out like a vampire victim, he relinquished his fight. I told him this was probably a good thing and to imagine what might have happened if he had stayed actively engaged in the fight? I told him as a soldier, the longer the fire-fight, the higher your chances of failure. If you must, you back off and regroup. He finally came to believe that maybe divine providence was responsible and was quite upset with God for having allowed this to all happen only to have it all taken away. He was half right. This guy was responsible for what went down and how he got to that place, not God. It wasn't until he was told by a guy that it was very likely because God loved him enough to take away what he could not handle at the time and did the most loving and compassionate thing He as God could do. God saved this man from himself, his devices and most-assuredly his own self-destruction. I agreed that the situation probably would have ended very badly otherwise.


He has received pictures occasionally through the past seven years, watching this little girl turn into a tween. Man, I could see the pain then. He had heard through the social networking grapevine, that this little girl, programmed by years of manipulation by her mother, wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. He'd rather die in war than to hear that kind of a response. Nothing hurt worse. Well, this Father's Day, his oldest daughter who is now 20 and has had some contact with her little half-sister, relayed a message back to him from this 12yr old girl. "Daddy, Katie told me to tell you "Happy Father's Day!" I've been working on her daddy! Telling her that what she's heard all these years isn't true and that the daddy I have is not the man she's been told. I think it might be working daddy". He crumbled. Although he'd experienced a life-changing transformation under the teachings of Dr. Foster....the reconciliation of this relationship with his daughter was still undone and painful. This has been a terrible sore spot for this guy. But this Father's Day gave great relief and hope. He hopes that someday, this little girl will seek him out to find out for herself what kind of man he has become, a Christ follower, and make up for lost time.


I saw the fellow yesterday in the window at Starbucks. Then I saw him again this morning.....in the mirror.




To all my brothers and sisters who ask God "Why?". If you'll just rely on the belief and faith that whatever God does, He does because He loves you and knows what you don't know. I understand. Let it go. Read on Job. He was restored and all that he endured was for God's glory. Read on Moses, although he had to pay for his disobedience by not seeing the land of Canaan, he died a man of God. Read on David, a man after God's own heart but insanely and repeatedly stupid beyond comprehension. The examples are throughout the Old and New Testaments. As Brian said last Sunday "Read the instructions"!

In One Peace,


-Eric

Having a "yada" moment!

April 8th at around 8pm on I-24 between Clarksville and Nashville on my way back home to Franklin, I had my "yada" moment. The Hebrew word "yada" is a verb which means "to be made known" and is quite different than "nakar" which means "to recognize". The verb "yada" infers a higher order than "nakar". My yada moment was so intense, I don't remember any details of how I got home that night. The car was apparently on autopilot. April 8th was the following Sunday after my pastor, mentor and instrument of my reconciliation to God, passed away suddenly in his sleep at the age of 58. I have not been this broken and distraught over the passing of someone I know since my grandma passed. Losing Pastor Dave hurt. It hurt really, really bad. I was TICKED at God for having taken him away from us. I was selfish. I listened (and still do for a different reason) to Dave's old Podcasts such as his "Renegades Guide to God", Friday Morning Bible Study, replays of church services past and others constantly that week. I didn't want to accept he was gone from us and was now with God. For over twenty years I have been running from a calling I felt as a teenager. I have filled my life, every waking moment with work or hobbies to drown out the voice in my head. The doctrine I heard in church growing up didn't match how the calling felt so I tried to just disregard it.

Let's backtrack for a moment for some historical background....

My great-grandfather was an evangelist. A staunch one. "Turn or burn...die and fry". My grandfather was a Bob Jones Theological and Dallas Theological graduate as well has having had a self-made career as a biblical researcher and journalist along with my grandmother publishing a monthly "book" called "Lamps Unto His Feet" sent to subscribers from around the world and based in Warsaw, Indiana near Grace Theological Seminary. My father rebelled from his upbringing, was put in a boarding school at the age of 15 and then disappeared into the Marine Corps in 1958 and southern California. He rode motorcycles and was gravitating towards association with the Hell's Angels until one day God answered his pleas in a suicidal moment and his life was changed forever. Throughout my childhood, I watched my dad change. He also became a bible scholar, not at a seminary, but by studying scripture for hours upon hours, everyday for years upon years. Always thirsty for more. He was objective about the Scripture and would have to "take himself out to the barn" on more than several occasions because he had accepted the fact that he didn't write the book nor did he have the right to pick and choose his own convenient spin on it. To get into a theological discussion with him now requires either good preparation of your defense in the argument or stupidity. One or the other. His principles, morals and ethics are unmatched to anyone I know. Flawed? Of course, we all are. He gave application of scripture to me throughout my childhood. He is my best friend.

On the flip side, the doctrine I heard in church was "wacked" to say the least. I had both Baptist and non-denominational / charismatic experience growing up. Both of which still demanded reformation, compliance and a sense of dispensationalism. You always either didn't pray enough, tithe enough, attend enough bible studies....and God was just waiting for a good moment to send a lightning bolt down to fry you like an ant under a magnifying glass. At times there was explosive church growth and great things happened. Then there was implosive self-destruction. There was bureaucracy, agendas and stagnation. I saw people who were wounded, get spiritually "shot" by their own. I was one of them when I, who is to blame mostly, destroyed my first marriage. Most all of the social network I had which was rooted in church either walked away, flat out denied me or just turned their back and pretended I didn't exist. The pastor didn't want me back and rumors to other churches were sent out to not welcome me. This just fueled that fire that whatever "calling" I had felt must have been chronic heartburn. Drinking every night at the bar medicated the pain.

I grew up with a high mechanical aptitude and extreme interest in how things work. I took my dad's electric drill apart and put it back together at the age of 10 just because I wanted to know how the gearing worked. At the age of 15, I built a robotic device out of an old Cub Cadet lawnmower, a pair of electric motors out of an old wringer washing machine and a manipulator arm made out of 2x4's and a bicycle brake caliper. You could drive it and steer it from a remote box on an extension cord. I naturally gravitated to that and have spent my career designing, fabricating and engineering mechanical devices.

Now, I've taken opportunities over the years to write about things and have gotten accolades here and there about them. I've always been better at writing my thoughts than speaking them. Years ago, I wrote a political essay to the editor of my local newspaper explaining the background of the Afghan war at the time when Osama Bin Laden was a hot topic. We (our own CIA) created that monster by turning our backs on him when Russia collapsed and had no further use of him. My high school history teacher, Mr. Stone, tracked me down and called me out of the blue to tell me how impressed he was of the article. It made me feel pretty good. In my professional life, I've been told that I have a way with words in my correspondences. My wife, Stacey has told me this for many years as has my dad and friends. In high school, doing a speech or writing an essay was a breeze for me. I liked it. My friends thought I had a mental condition. When I write, time just clicks away and hours pass before I even realize it. I get in a zone that I cannot get into any other way. If there is ADD, I've got it. Always have. I cannot sit for an hour and a half to watch a movie unless I've paid the outrageous money they want for a theater ticket at which point my wallet holds me in the seat like a toddler stuck with velcro. Otherwise, I must always be doing something. I can't watch TV. I must be doing multiple things or else I feel like I will explode. That is, until I start writing. Time slows down, I get calm, I get focused. It's like the scene in the "The Matrix" when the bullets go into slow motion and you can see the vapor trails and able to dodge it despite it traveling at sonic speeds. For instance....it's now 3:00am.

Then, one Saturday night over six years ago, my step-daughter wanted me to take her and a friend to Bellevue Community Church here in Nashville. I had no real desire to go other than because they wanted to. Within five minutes of his speaking, the thousands of people in this mega-church disappeared and Dave seemed to be speaking directly to me as if I were the only person in the room. I went home to tell my wife, Stacey, about it. To say she was not impressed was an understatement. She was raised Catholic, hadn't been to church in many years and wasn't about to go back. Now, her husband had started talking about this Dave guy at BCC, attending this church, a "calling" and going to seminary or bible college. The look on her face was the same look you see on a deer with your headlights just before impact. She just knew she had just married a guy who was about to become a bible-thumping, street corner screaming bigot spewing fire and brimstone and she was going to be expected to wear skirts, no makeup and never cut her hair again. This did not make for happy days at the Gardner household at the time. But, eventually she too got the "Dave" bug which was simply the Gospel message of Jesus Christ loving us where and as we are, not as we should be and not leaving us where he found us. It wasn't about being moral. It wasn't reformation and dying to self in order to prove your loyalty. It was about radical transformation of the heart through a real experience with the Creator and Savior of the world. Then and only then, the alteration of your lifestyle is permanent and truly glorifies God because you did so because of love not control and force as the church institution would like to keep it.

Well, since that day, I had been following David Foster's every move. We were at the Maxwell House for the first "gathering" after Dave had left BCC five years ago and then finally to our current home at the Thoroughbred 20 theater in Cool Springs. I related to Dave and understood his application of the Gospel like no one I had ever heard before. Up until I let work try to drown the voice again, I had been on the audio/video setup team getting to the theater every Sunday morning before 6:30am to begin the process of setting up everything. We are literally church "roadies". In an hour and a half we go from an empty theater to going live with full audio, soundboard, theater projector interface, live webstreaming, lights, banners and even Starbucks coffee and Krispy Kreme donuts. My spiritual life has been getting better.

Then I got a phone call from Stacey on Monday morning, April 2nd in absolute hysterics trying so hard to get the words out of her mouth that Dave was gone. She too had had the same connection with Dave's message and reconciliation. I was in speechless shock and left early from work. Trying to drive down I-65 and match crowd speed through Nashville with tears streaming is not a wise thing to do. When I got home, I threw wrenches in my shop, made "eloquent" speech and flat out told God how ticked off I was about all of it. As if my particular opinion really was in play. After all, this is the creator of the universe we are talking about here. He can pretty much do whatever He so pleases. But I still thought He could have at least asked me first. You know what I mean?

Back to April 8th.........

So, as I was driving, all the pieces of the puzzle started to come together like the slowly building crescendo of a great classical music composition or the plot comes together in a movie like "Inception". I FINALLY found the purpose in the pain and my calling. Although I have a high degree of ability mechanically, it drains me. The politics of corporate America can suck the life out of a creative person. Thankfully, I'm in research and development and it feeds my creative need. I have a custom motorcycle shop and media blasting shop service classic and hot rod cars to keep the creative juices flowing. However, it's not the "calling" I was called to do twenty plus years ago. I have a hunger for the Gospel Dave interpreted so well. I have a hunger to not see men and women go through the pain of divorce I went through. I have a hunger for kids not to endure the divorce of their parents as mine have. I have a hunger to show people that you can be married to your best friend and not the "Honeymooner's" or "Archie Bunker" version of marriage we may have grown up in. I have a hunger to spread a message that you don't have to "clean up your act" before you go to a church. I have a hunger to be the beggar telling other beggars where to find bread. I want to see men be "MAN UP" men. I want to write. When I write, I want to speak. When I speak, I get passionate. I get fired up. I have a voice. I have a "MOOOO". THAT'S IT! My "YADA" moment. For twenty friggin' (yes I said "friggin"...deal with it) years I have been running away as fast as I can from a calling to counsel, teach, preach and write about the Gospel. This means graduate and post-graduate education. End of story. How am I gonna do it? I dunno.What exactly am I gonna do? I dunno. Where? I dunno. What I do know is that I must. I know the pain. I can relate. I've gotten wiser. I've turned my limping into dancing. Through it all, God is still good. It's gotta be done or somebody else will do it. As Pastor Dave said, "might as well be me".

When are you going to slow down long enough, get off the hamster wheel and get quiet enough to listen to your calling?

If you haven't experienced The Gathering Nashville and our great pastor, friend and mentor David Foster, check out the memorial video below. If it resonates with you, check out all the archives and fill up your spiritual water bucket. Jesus didn't ask anyone of anything more than to just follow Him. Thank you Pastor David Foster for answering your calling forty years ago. By doing so, me and thousands of others with similar stories are forever changed and will someday join you again in the glorious presence of Jesus. Instead of being mad over God taking him too soon, I thank God for the seven years I had.

Check out the video here:
http://rememberingpastordave.com/pastor-david-fosters-farewell-video/

In One Peace,

Eric

Love and Death with Brian Welch

I went to a concert with my son Brandon last night at the Cannery Ballroom here in Nashville. He wanted to see "Red". He listens to their songs on Way FM all the time and has their latest album. Little did he know just how heavy they can get live. It was actually quite a comical thing to see. Other bands playing were "Icon For Hire", "Love and Death", and "P.O.D.". If you don't know who these last two are in particular, it's gonna be hard to explain. P.O.D. stands for "Payable On Death". They are a Christian heavy metal band based out of southern California. Now before anybody thinks of flaming me over the word "Christian" paired with the phrase "heavy metal" let me say this...don't even think about it. I've been a "metalhead" since I was a young teen listening to the secular stuff like Iron Maiden, Dio, Metallica, etc., as well as the Christian flavors of REZ, Jerusalem, Stryper, Bloodgood, Whitecross....it goes on and on. The message of REZ in particular, helped solidify my beliefs as a teen. If there is one thing I am absolutely convinced of, it is that the body of Christ is infinitely diverse. So long as the message they present is redeeming, reconciling and Christ-focused, I'm in. Let's not kid ourselves though. There are posers. Even in church. Shudder the thought. I know. Now to push on and make things even more weird for those suit-and-tie people among us, let's introduce "Love and Death". This band will make Mrs. Miller in the front pew of the First Church of The Frigidaire pass out cold in the isle. There is a back story here that is second to none. The front man is Brian "Head" Welch. Those of you in the know...already know. He's the former lead of "Korn". Brian had a conversion to Christ and an immediate deliverance from crystal meth as he was at the end of his rope and near death. His conversion caused him to quickly walk away from fame and fortune and focus on raising his daughter and taking the message of Christ to a group of people that most just want to discard. Say what you want but I pray that Brian's new direction will be an effective method of reaching those lost whom only he can relate to. Check out his short video from the "I am Second" series here.


http://www.iamsecond.com/seconds/brian-welch/

In One Peace, Eric

God help me see past the trivial.

Sunday afternoon, I was sitting in a lawn chair in front of one of the open bays of my shop dwelling on stressful things in my mind. Moving to a new house this week, moving the shop this weekend, getting these big projects done and out the door just in time, getting paid on these projects, cash flow, expanding the shop, capital equipment purchases, investors.........the list went on and on. I spoke verbally "God help me see past the trivial". A few minutes went by and the neighbor's son came over asking if I had a particular tool he could borrow. I happily obliged and returned to my chair and mental state. Then it hit me. Here I am sitting in front of a shop busting at the seams with tools, time enough to wallow and a neighbor that I know doesn't have much of any tools or financial resources to fix his car. The father works hard at two jobs to put his kids through school, provide for his family and just survive. What in the world am I doing sitting here? I asked myself. So, I hopped up and went over to lend a hand. I helped diagnose that his problem wasn't the radiator fan for which he had purchased a new one but simply the fan switch. My stepping up saved him a lot of time and a significant amount of money. When I got back to my chair, I realized God had responded to my prayer by presenting me with a situation of another individual and allowing me to look past my own. The next time you find yourself wallowing in your own self-induced pity party, crash that party by going and helping somebody else.

The best way to NOT get what you want out of your marriage.

Out of the ashes of a 15yr failed first marriage and now seven wonderful years of marriage to my best friend, Stacey, I have learned at least one truth. One of the fastest ways to NOT get what you want in a marriage is to get what you want. By that I mean, just focus on your own wants and watch your marriage ignite into an inferno of mis-communication. The chauvinistic element of the church stops at Ephesians 5:24 and conveniently goes no further. However, husbands, I speak to you by saying you need to focus on Ephesians 5:25 and follow it through to the end of the chapter. To go no further than verse 24 is the very cause that has turned our world upside-down and taken us from one extreme to the other in this last century. This is true for many doctrinal subjects where the authors of such doctrine have not been objective and have, through creative and incomplete interpretation, built their own case from scripture. Accepting the authorship of scripture by God Himself as the creator and we as the subjective creation is a tough pill to swallow. Thus making the temptation to manipulate scripture or place more emphasis in one place than the other very strong. As Pastor Dave said, "There are several things in the Bible I do not like but I didn't write the book". Accept the fact that you didn't write it nor do any of us have the right to choose what is or isn't true in the scripture. This is where introspection gets painful. Husbands, if you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, I challenge you to do one thing for 30 days. Devote yourself to this cause. Put your wife ahead of all other agendas and be a gracious servant. Everyday, bolstered by prayer. I don't care if you even like it. Suck it up. Put your big boy pants on and do things for your wife even without asking. Don't make excuses. Don't shift any blame. Now is not the time for that. When your house is on fire, is it time to point fingers at who lit the match? Or is it time to jump in with the buckets? Love her by telling her and showing her that you do. After 30 days of putting your best foot forward, come back and tell me what's different with your relationship. I'd venture to bet you'll get my point. Oh, and wives....let your husband be the man he is supposed to be. I'd venture to bet you'll get my point as well.

Doodling in the dirt

John 8:1-11 tells the story about a woman brought before Jesus by the Pharisee's in order to entrap him between Roman civil law and the Mosaic law. Here is the text for your convenience:

1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

There are a few questions to ask oneself here. Where is Jesus at the moment? Who is he with? What is he doing? What do they call Jesus? Where's the "dude"? What is the extent of Roman law of the day versus the Mosaic Law? Was Jesus being indignant to them? What sin? What was he doodling in the dirt (speculation only)? Why did they leave? Who was left? What was she told to do? Here's my brief take on the whole deal. "All" the people here are those following and had interest in what Jesus had to say. He was busy teaching in the temple when rudely interrupted by these "ruling class lawyers" of the day. They plop the woman down among all the people gathered round about Jesus. I'm sure she was terrified and embarrassed. She is also surely not in the women's courtyard of the temple so she's the only woman surrounded by men. She surely wasn't treated very well at all on the way from wherever she had been taken from to the temple. Her clothes probably weren't intact and she was likely scrapped and beat up. Now, the last time I checked, it takes two to tango. Mosaic Law condemns ANYONE committing adultery. Man and woman. Where's the "dude"? One can only speculate here but it begs one to wonder why. Maybe it was a Pharisee himself unhappy with the outcome of this little escapade. We don't know. The absence of the partner in crime may very well explain the scenario better than if he were there. You can see the chauvinistic overtone of these accusers. The Pharisees addressed Jesus with the title "Master". This meaning "teacher" or Rabbi but not with any sense of respect at all. We also see that, continuing in the line of arrogance, they pose the question before addressing Jesus by title. I can just imagine the interruption being simultaneous with throwing this woman down. There certainly wouldn't be any missing the incident. Jesus, being always indignant to those who are self-serving, acts as if he didn't hear anything, bends down and doodles in the dirt. In that day, as is tradition even now, a judge would write his sentence down before declaring it vocally. I wonder. Now, let's make absolutely clear that speculation can lead into doctrinal paths that are way off in left field. With that in mind, I carefully contemplate what Jesus may have been writing. Was it "Hey everybody, watch this!"? During the Roman occupation, the Jews were given quite a bit of freedom. They were free to worship, self-rule and basically come and go as they please. One big caveat was capital punishment. The Romans did not allow capital punishment outside of the Roman court. This is why Jesus' death sentence was declared by the Roman prefect (magistrate) Pontius Pilate and not the "Roman-appointed" high priest, Caiaphas. (There is another long story here concerning the difference between lineage high priesthood and the "Roman-appointed" false-priesthood). So, verse 5 pits Jesus between agreeing with the Law of Moses, circumventing Roman law and conflicting his own teachings to his students or defying Jewish law and getting in hot water with the Sanhedrin (71 member "supreme court" of Jewish law). It seemed like a no-win situation. Jesus answered the question in historical fashion. Sure, go ahead. Stone her. But, as is the custom, whomever is without [this] sin, cast the first stone [you being the transgressed, she being the transgressor]. The Old Testament practice was that if you accused someone for a capital offense against you, you had to be prepared to throw the first stone as proper vindication. This is strong reference to the possibility of "this sin". So, again speculating, maybe Jesus began doodling the names of their mistresses one by one. If not [this] sin, maybe He was writing down the sins they had just committed earlier in the day! Nevertheless, we see them all leave, one-by-one until there is just the woman and Jesus. This is very important because the only one left was the only one without sin and the only one whom could have condemned the woman according to the Law of Moses because Jesus, being the second member of the Trinity, is the one whom was sinned against in the act of adultery. Yet, Jesus chose to not condemn her and told her to go and sin no more. Is it possible to not sin? Of course not. We are not perfect nor will we be. However, the inference is that He told her to change her way, turn and do life a new way with respect and honor to the pardon given. She was forgiven without paying a penance by God whom had every right to condemn her and was justly qualified to do so. She had not earned it in any way. She simply acknowledge the fact that there were no accusers. A precursor to the completion of His task as our savior. If you enjoy R.C. Sproul as much as I do, listen to his commentary on this very subject: http://www.ligonier.org/learn/sermons/woman-caught-adultery/

Have you ever just wanted to pummel somebody relentlessly?

I figured the title would get your attention. Yesterday, as I surfed around on the internet, read Pastor Dave's raves, listened/watched archived video and such, I found the inevitable. You know. The "review"? The one where a Pharisaical, street corner-screaming, beat you with a ninety pound Scofield reference bible, no-theological training, so-narrow-minded-I-can-see-through-a-keyhole-with-both-eyes-open guy who watches one video, takes it out of context and vomits all over it because it didn't have enough "thee's" and "thou's" in it. I felt like I was going to have a stroke. My generally happy-go-lucky demeanor went right out the proverbial window! My Roy D. Mercer smart___ alter ego wanted to come out, crawl through the internet connection, jump through this guys keyboard and go all old testament on his sorry excuse for a Christian.....then it happened. I heard Dave's voice in my head almost as if I had played it back on an iPod......."God works through a broken, humble spirit". Talk about taking the wind out of your sail. He is dead-on right. What good would it have done for me to fire back? What would it prove other than me being as venomous as he was? I took a deep breath and just shook my head. If only this guy really knew...if only he knew.